Lucky Seven Family

Discipline: Starting the conversation…

Applying discipline in any family, blended family or not, can be difficult.  We all come into parent-hood with concepts about discipline based upon how we were raised and other experiences we had along the path to becoming a parent.  In addition to our beliefs about discipline, in a blended family, we may also bring other issues that affect our ability to discipline such as feelings of guilt or concerns that our children will “choose” the other parent if we expect certain behaviors from them.  Major issues can certainly arise when trying to blend a family where the parents and/or the children have different expectations of how discipline will occur.

Once you and your significant other have made the decision to introduce your respective families to one another (however that combination of parents and children may look – one parent with children, the other without or both parents with children) – And, may I just note, this is an entirely different conversation – when is your adult relationship strong enough to introduce the children involved?! – I’ll address this topic in another post!  Back to the topic at hand… discipline.

Prior to the introduction of your families to one another, it is ideal to have a brief conversation about discipline just to start the dialogue between the two adults in your blended family.  This dialogue will help you begin to understand one another’s beliefs about behavioral expectations and discipline techniques.  Keep the conversation light and work to learn about one another.  Ultimately, the goal here will be to learn from one another; but, initially you must start by understanding one another’s views on discipline.  Here are a few questions to start the conversation:


  • How were you disciplined as a child?
  • Do you consider yourself a strict disciplinarian? Or not so strict?
  • How do you correct behavior that is not acceptable?
  • Do you have any discipline techniques that work really well with your children?

What other questions would you add to this list?

Do you have suggestions on how to start this important conversation about discipline?

Next post, I’ll discuss dealing with discipline discrepancies and setting expectations for discipline in your blended family.


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