Lucky Seven Family

Tag Archives: “step-children”

Christmas Plans – Part 2

In my last post I shared how my ex- and I manage Christmas holidays…

Now, for Russell and his kids:

Russell and his ex-wife have a very set schedule that we rarely sway from.  They alternate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day every year with the following schedule:

Christmas Eve 5pm to noon on Christmas day (Parent #1)

Christmas Day noon to 8am the following day (Parent #2)

The week b/w Christmas and New Year’s (Parent #1)

Santa visits each home separately and there is very little, if any, coordination of gift planning.  Even with that, there are usually not too many duplicate gifts to deal with so that is helpful!  Russell plans a decadent Christmas meal each year and either has that for Christmas Eve dinner or for Christmas Day dinner.  One year dinner was lobster and steak – talk about yummy!  His brussel sprouts are to die for too!

Dedicated Dad:

His children participate in a church nativity scene each year on Christmas Eve and being the dedicated dad that he is, he always attends their play whether he has them for Christmas Eve or not.

Couple’s Christmas:

So, when do Russell and I exchange gifts and celebrate our Christmas together?  Based upon the different schedules we usually either have a little quiet time together on Christmas Eve or late on Christmas night.  Our first focus is on our children and families; whether that means we are separate with them or we are all together as LUCKY SEVEN FAMILY.  Regardless, we always find time to enjoy an hour or two of quiet time and celebrate together.

Lessons Learned:

Over the years, I’ve realized that putting pressure on ourselves to make our crazy lives “perfect” is NOT the goal.  Happiness and contentment is the goal; for us and for our children.  Thus, no matter when it is that we can bake cookies, open gifts, share a Christmas meal, we always make sure that everyone in LUCKY SEVEN FAMILY knows that our Christmas is about fun, love and gratitude.  It may take some extra planning but in the end we are building a strong family with ties that will last for many, many years.

It’s late, but Happy Holidays to all of you!! Hoping our experiences help you in making your experience positive ones!

 

 

How I wish…

What an amazing post from a mom who can accept and move on for the best of her daughter:

http://www.today.com/parents/letter-my-daughters-stepmom-i-never-wanted-you-here-1D80341783

Tuesday Tip #27: Find ways to define your blended family

This past weekend, on a gorgeous, sunny day, the country club where my children swim hosted the annual “Big Meet”.  This is where a couple of hundred kids, ages 5 to 16 years old, from five different country clubs compete for the title of “North Shore Swim League Champions”.  As a club, we hosted about 500 people; many parents volunteered to pull off a fantastic event.

In working to define our family, Russell was a volunteer at the “Big Meet’ – just like any other parent.

Working to direct incoming traffic to the correct parking lot (imagine, minivans driven by moms, full of kids and sports cars driven by dads coming with Dunkin’ Donuts — this is a true observation!), Russell’s contribution demonstrated several things:

— despite the three hours distance between us, we are building a presence as a complete family both in Reading, MA and Burlington, VT

— he cares immensely for his step-son and step-daughter  — contributing to an important event for my children demonstrates their importance in his life

Find ways to participate in your step-children’s activities – the rewards are great for all!

Issues we have faced…

I’d love to hear from other families regarding issues they would like to see discussed here.  Some of the issues we have faced and topics we have enjoyed include:

building family traditions
growing together
Halloween parties!
being step-parents
children being step-children
interacting with ex-wife/ex-husband
birth order and how it affects our relationships
scheduling our weekends
scheduling our holidays/vacations
discipline