Lucky Seven Family

Self-confidence

self confidence

Fostering Self-esteem

Recently, on a Lucky Seven Family ski trip, I found myself pondering how much independence was enough for all 5 kids.  How can I foster their self-esteem and build their ability to make informed, confident decisions?  What is the balance of providing direction versus being too controlling?

On this ski trip, we allowed all of the kids to go out on the slopes without us.  In the past, we have let the two boys (13 and 14 years old) ski alone while the rest of us were slowing waking up and donning our layers, gloves and hats.  This year, the younger girls (the oldest daughter is unfortunately injured and can’t ski this year — another post… what to do with her on a family ski trip!) were allowed to go out with the boys to ski without parents as well.  Granted, they have all been skiing since the young age of 3 so we have no concern about ability.  It’s really more about trust and putting my anxiety aside.  Trusting that they will make good decisions, watch out for one another and stick together.

Letting them ski alone is just one example of an opportunity for independence that provides our children with an understanding that their parents trust them to make decisions and believe in their abilities.  Often as parents we may think that being with them all the time protects our children, and it may in some ways, but it also may inhibit their ability to grow their own self-confidence.  Although it may be difficult to provide these opportunities to your children because of your own fears, give it a try and let your kids bomb the mountain!

Something to think about!

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Enjoying Life

I’m reading an interesting book by Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul.  Something that struck me and pertains to life in general, but also to living with a blended family (any family really!)… “Enjoy life instead of clinging to it or pushing it away” — so many times in my experience with blended family living, I have expected perfection – perfect behavior, perfect memories, perfect lives… maybe we should learn to just live it! Live the life we have, appreciate the life we have and those that are in it.  I’m striving to do this every day.  Let this post be a reminder to me to ENJOY LIFE!

Happy 2016!

Happy New Year from LuckySevenFamily!!!

I’ve been away from the blog but it’s time to come back.  Looking forward to sharing in 2016!

Teamwork!

Coming together is a beginning, keeping together is progress, working together is success.  — Henry Ford

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Competitiveness

I’ve been away for a while!

A little healthy competition between kids is never a bad thing – but how do you keep the competition “healthy”? How do you keep it in check?  Tonight my kids were discussing an email that one of their lacrosse coaches sent.  The email was recognizing my daughter for playing goalie by suggesting that she was following in her big brother’s footsteps.  Of course, it was a compliment to both kids.  How do I make sure they both see the positive related to not only themselves, but also each other?

I hope that we are teaching all of our children to be happy for one another, to celebrate the successes they each have – small or large. We toast to happy occasions and we congratulate for accomplishments.  I hope that they keep these lessons top of mind as they mature!

Crayons…

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If My Mom Were…

If my mom were a tree she would be an oak.  She’s strong, beautiful, and healthy.

If my mom were a dessert she would be vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup and a cherry.  She’s sweet, classic, but still pleases everybody.

If my mom were a chef she would be Rachel Ray.  She’s amazing, always gets the job done, and very creative.

If my mom were a coffee she would be a grande non-fat no whip mocha.  She’s energetic, sweet and loves Starbucks.

If my mom were a fruit she would be an apple.  She’s healthy, sweet, and bright.

If my mom had 5 kids and a husband named Russell she would be my amazing mom.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Love, Elaina

My daughter wrote this for me in 2014.  It touches my heart in so many ways. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms and step-moms out there!!

 

Mother’s Day

There are a lot of emotions that come up in a blended family on Mother’s Day.  Every family has different circumstances that influence the relationship and resulting emotions that occur on Mother’s Day.  In our blended family the children all have an active, involved mother. My children have me, Russell’s children have their mother.  All of the kids get to see their moms consistently.  I can only write about my feelings and beliefs regarding being a step-mother to children that have an involved mom.  In addition, I do not live with my step-children on a regular basis (because Russell and I live in separate states and spend our weekends together, we do not regularly parent one another’s children).

I have no expectations that my step-children acknowledge me in any way on Mother’s Day.  One is for a practical reason, they are typically with their mother, not me, on Mother’s Day.  The other is because I AM NOT THEIR MOTHER!  In a situation where a child has a mother that is fully capable, I do not think it is necessary that the step-children identify a necessity to celebrate Mother’s Day with their step-mother.  Please do not get me wrong here… I am not suggesting that step-children don’t do things like:  treat their step-mother with respect and acknowledge their step-mother is a part of their life; working within the family dynamics to try to develop some formidable relationship.

One might ask if I think Russell should enable or aid his children in acknowledging me on Mother’s Day – buying me a card from them, sending flowers from them, etc.  I have no expectation for this; from him or the children.

Where does the husband of a mother come into play on Mother’s Day? – this is where I do see Russell’s role – with my children! I hope that Russell will help, remind, enable my children to get me a card, make me breakfast in bed, remember to say “Happy Mother’s Day”.  I also believe my ex-husband has a role in reminding the children about Mother’s Day.  Before I met Russell, before I was re-married, the ex-husband’s role was even more important – nothing extravagant expected but acknowledgement of an important day in their mother’s life is important – it’s about respect, it’s about teaching our children how to love, teaching them about relationships, teaching them about treating people the right way.

In blended families, step-families,  whatever you want to call them… it is about doing the right thing: Recognizing Mother’s Day IS the right thing to do for your children’s mother.

Happy Mother’s Day!!