Lucky Seven Family

Mother’s Day

There are a lot of emotions that come up in a blended family on Mother’s Day.  Every family has different circumstances that influence the relationship and resulting emotions that occur on Mother’s Day.  In our blended family the children all have an active, involved mother. My children have me, Russell’s children have their mother.  All of the kids get to see their moms consistently.  I can only write about my feelings and beliefs regarding being a step-mother to children that have an involved mom.  In addition, I do not live with my step-children on a regular basis (because Russell and I live in separate states and spend our weekends together, we do not regularly parent one another’s children).

I have no expectations that my step-children acknowledge me in any way on Mother’s Day.  One is for a practical reason, they are typically with their mother, not me, on Mother’s Day.  The other is because I AM NOT THEIR MOTHER!  In a situation where a child has a mother that is fully capable, I do not think it is necessary that the step-children identify a necessity to celebrate Mother’s Day with their step-mother.  Please do not get me wrong here… I am not suggesting that step-children don’t do things like:  treat their step-mother with respect and acknowledge their step-mother is a part of their life; working within the family dynamics to try to develop some formidable relationship.

One might ask if I think Russell should enable or aid his children in acknowledging me on Mother’s Day – buying me a card from them, sending flowers from them, etc.  I have no expectation for this; from him or the children.

Where does the husband of a mother come into play on Mother’s Day? – this is where I do see Russell’s role – with my children! I hope that Russell will help, remind, enable my children to get me a card, make me breakfast in bed, remember to say “Happy Mother’s Day”.  I also believe my ex-husband has a role in reminding the children about Mother’s Day.  Before I met Russell, before I was re-married, the ex-husband’s role was even more important – nothing extravagant expected but acknowledgement of an important day in their mother’s life is important – it’s about respect, it’s about teaching our children how to love, teaching them about relationships, teaching them about treating people the right way.

In blended families, step-families,  whatever you want to call them… it is about doing the right thing: Recognizing Mother’s Day IS the right thing to do for your children’s mother.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

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