Lucky Seven Family

Grandmothers

Today would have been my mother’s 72nd birthday.  It is a bittersweet day for me because it reminds me of many wonderful birthday parties with my  grandmother (her mother), her sisters and our families celebrating both her birthday and her older sister’s birthday.  Their birthdays were two days apart.  My grandmother always made “birthday cake” – a white cake (home-made, of course) with the most beautiful pink icing that she used to make little petite peaks all over the cake.

My mother didn’t get to be a grandmother; she died of gastric cancer the year she was to turn fifty.  So, today, more than twenty years later, the bitter comes from having two biological children that never got to have a birthday party with their maternal grandmother.  My mom would have been the most amazing grandmother…  I can only imagine how all of our lives might be different had she lived to see her grandchildren born and to have participated in their lives.  Elaina, my daughter, carries my mother’s name (Elaine).  It serves as a lasting tribute and reminder to her of the grandmother she didn’t have the opportunity to know or to be loved by.  I make sure to tell the kids stories about her and make recipes with them that my mother made for my siblings and me (Snickerdoodles being our #1 favorite to make together!!).  Anything to help them know her in some small way.

Although nothing can replace the potential grandmother my mom could have been, my children haven’t fully missed out on the love and affection of grandmother-like figures in their lives.  They are so lucky to have great aunts (TWO Aunt Glendas and an Aunt Kaky – these are on my side of the family).  They are also lucky to have a wonderful grandmother via our blended family. I am very grateful for Russell’s mother who welcomed my children with open arms from the very first day she met them.  They call her “grandma” and look forward to visits with her and from her just like any grandchild would anticipate such a visit.  She asks about their lives and converses with them with kind attention.  For this, I am thankful.

In our lives, sometimes we lose people.  Those people are not replaceable.  My mother is certainly not replaceable, to me or to my children.  However, in life, we must also look for sweetness even in bittersweet times.  Our blended family has given my children the chance to find just that.

That is what this blog is about… looking for the positives in the blended family

champlain sandy

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