Lucky Seven Family

Step-Daughters

As many of you are very well aware, mothers and daughters have complex relationships! (shocker for you to hear, I’m sure!!).  Well, add step-daughter and step-mother to the mix and COMPLEXITIES abound! My step-daughters are both very sweet girls – one would probably object a bit to being called a ‘girl’ – perhaps young lady is more descriptive (she’s in 8th grade).

Today, I took the opportunity to spend some time with my step-daughter shopping.  Several things happened:  I asked her to help me find a certain type of necklace I was looking for, then I showed her respect by suggesting she might prefer to go to another store she really liked, then I offered to buy her an outfit she liked.  Here, the buying part is the LEAST important!  What I hoped  to do in our time together was show her I valued her opinion and trusted her.  By asking her to help me choose a necklace, I conveyed the importance of her opinion and by suggesting she might want to go to a favorite store without me, I allowed her to feel trusted and independent enough to go it alone until I arrived.  Buying her the outfit was ‘icing on the cake’ – I hope it demonstrated to her that we are a family and just like I’d buy my own daughter an outfit, I would do the same for her.

Despite any amount of head-butting between a mom and daughter or a step-mom and step-daughter, let me suggest some SHOPPING THERAPY!  Take the time, make the effort – have some fun together.  Shopping allows you to build a relationship together, talk about things you have in common, and relax a little around each other.

We had a lot of fun together today.  And as you may know, I work hard to keep this blog POSITIVE – my step-daughter and I have had some tough communications recently, but today was fun, light and respectful — I think it was a MAJOR STEP in the right direction!!

 

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